As a culture, we tend to put the emotional and the rational into two separate boxes and keep them miles apart.
“She can’t lead this company; she’s too emotional.”
“He can’t comfort his crying kids; he’s a ‘facts and figures’ kind of guy.”
Not only do we separate them entirely, but we also place them in a hierarchy.
Logic and reason are placed above feelings and intuition time and time again. When people display emotion, we categorize them as hysterical, hyper-sensitive, weak. When emotions are hidden, we applaud people as being “so strong.” We still put a higher value on physical body care than mental health care.
Do you know what this separateness and hierarchy does? It makes emotions confusing for people. Because the truth is … OF COURSE you will have emotions. You’re a person. So, where is their proper place? How much is enough but not too much? Are they the enemy of rationality?
At our best, these forces will not be at war with each other, but harmonize with and ultimately strengthen one another. One is not more important than the other. How we respond to them and how we balance them is where the magic happens. Going too far in either extreme can lead to suffering.
- When we downplay our emotions, stuff them, and don’t listen to them, we are in trouble.
- When we overplay our emotions, ceaselessly live in them, and feel trapped by them, we are also in trouble.
So, how do we honor our emotions without living perpetually on an emotional rollercoaster? How do we find emotional balance?
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