Yield2Yin

A Therapist's Advice

A Yield2Yin Approach to Life by Sara Cloostermans, MA, LMFT, LPCC

Calming | Coping

Journey to the Future: The White House of Love and Acceptance | Meditation Script

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

In a world often overshadowed by political unrest and ethical dilemmas, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by fear and frustration, especially when confronted with those in positions of power. Many of us share concerns about the lack of empathy and humanity in leadership, which can manifest as feelings of anger or hopelessness. However, I chose to take a different path—one rooted in love, acceptance, and healing.

Through my daily yoga meditation practice, I began to consciously redirect my energy toward sending love and compassion to those who hold significant sway in our lives. Instead of harboring negative sentiments, I envisioned enveloping them in warmth, kindness, and understanding, regardless of their actions or beliefs. This shift in perspective may just open a gateway to transformative energy—not just for them, but for myself and those around me.

This blog is an invitation to join me in this journey toward a brighter future. Within these pages, I will share a meditation script with a link and an audio version designed for anyone eager to replace fear with love and to send messages of acceptance that transcend the barriers of race, sex, ideologies, and other types of diversity. Together, let’s cultivate a collective consciousness that embraces compassion and works toward a more harmonious existence. Welcome to our journey to the future—a future where love reigns supreme over division.

Begin with Gentle Music or Nature Sounds

Starting with Breathwork:

Welcome to this guided meditation. Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Gently close your eyes and begin to bring your awareness inward. Take a slow breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely… and exhale softly through your mouth. As you continue to breathe, allow your body to relax with each inhalation and exhalation.

Sinking into Relaxation:

With every breath, feel a wave of relaxation washing over you. Inhale fully and slowly… and exhale, letting go of any tension. Feel your shoulders soften, your jaw release, and your whole body sink into comfort. Breathe in peace… and breathe out stress. You are safe here.

Visualizing the Future House:

Now, I invite you to imagine a beautiful big white house. This house radiates warmth and love. Picture its spacious rooms filled with sunlight streaming through the windows. The house has soft, welcoming corners, where every detail has been designed with care and kindness.

Within this house, envision a tender dad and an empathetic mom. They are filled with love and compassion, creating an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome. As you visualize this family, notice how they pour love into everyone they meet and everything they do.

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Tips to Help New Moms and Their Families throughout Pregnancy and Postpartum

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Both pregnancy and postpartum, especially “the fourth trimester,” the first 3 months after parents bring their newborn infant home, need a lot more of our attention if the goal is to help parents successfully transition into parenthood.

It is a time that is characterized by significant emotional, physical, and practical lifestyle adjustments (incl. financial), which can be extremely overwhelming and taxing on the new parents’ well-being. It is therefore essential we apply a holistic approach to effectively support growing families, so we can empower them to navigate this transformative period with more confidence and ease.

3 Tips to Help Women During Pregnancy

1. Validate, Validate, Validate

Everyone’s experience during pregnancy is different. Some women feel the glow; others feel utterly miserable. Some women love being pregnant; others hate it. All of it is normal. Whatever it turns out to be is real, and therefore valid, for each individual pregnant woman.

So validate her.

If she is in her happiest glow and feeling amazing – relish in it with her. Don’t bombard her with “Just you wait…” or “Sleep now because you’ll never sleep again!” types of comments.

If she is really struggling physically or mentally – hold space for her. Don’t shame her with “But it’s such a miracle!” or “You’d feel better if you were more positive…” types of comments.

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Future Day Fantasy: Guided Meditation Practice

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I was first introduced to a future day fantasy guided meditation practice while I was still in grad school at ASU just over 20 years ago. I was taking a class in my counseling program called “Smart Girls: a New Psychology of Gifted and Talented Girls,” taught by Barbara Kerr, PhD (my favorite professor in the whole program, so I took as many of her classes as I could); it was in this class that Dr. Kerr guided us through an equivalent meditation practice.

It was the very first time in my life that I meditated and it ended up being one of my more memorable meditation practices to this day. Just recently, I have been inspired to share this experience with you. But since I don’t remember ever receiving a script handout in class nor was able to find a similar script online when doing an internet search (except for a great YouTube video, “Future Day Fantasy: A guided visualization to get clear on what you actually want” by Kyira Wackett, MS, LPC), I decided to write my own script.

As you prepare for your practice, feel free to include calming music, and scented oils or candles. If you are planning on sitting down, find a comfortable spot in a quiet space; sit on the floor, or if you have a yoga mat, use that to sit on instead. If you prefer lying down, do so flat on your back either on your yoga mat or your bed.

Let’s get started!

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demystifying psychotherapy

Demystifying Psychotherapy

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

If you’ve never been to therapy before, the whole experience may feel like being the new kid at school … or the new hire at a well-established company … You don’t know who everybody is, where to go, how things operate, where you should put your bag, or if they’ll be nice to you at lunch.

This blog serves as the sidekick to show you the ropes. We’re demystifying psychotherapy. What therapy is. Who you can see. The types of sessions to expect. The goals.

Here are two things to realize up front:

First off – the taboo nature of going to therapy greatly decreased amid the pandemic – more people from across all demographics are accepting the idea that, just like we should see physical health specialists when we have physical health concerns, we need to see mental health professionals when we have mental health issues.

Next – therapy is for everyone. Not only for people who are on the brink of divorce or people who have experienced trauma or have other forms of mental health concerns. Every single human being benefits from therapy in the same way everyone benefits from checkups at the doctor or regular exercise or a healthy diet. It’s an act of self-care.

What Is Psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy is a type of therapy that helps people who are facing mental health challenges improve their overall well-being. By far the most common client complaints therapists come across are clients being impacted by symptoms of depression and/or anxiety (at various levels of severity).

Why Go To Therapy?

Here are some of the most common treatment objectives in psychotherapy:

  • psycho-education (for example, someone experiencing anxiety learning about the sympathetic nervous system, or fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, and the parasympathetic nervous system, aka the rest and digest response)
  • emotional regulation (breathwork meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, validating feelings, compassionate self-care actions, self-soothing talk, etc.)
  • stress reduction and improved coping skills (yoga, journaling, exercise, socializing, calming music, dance, art, nature activities, etc.)
  • trigger identification – ask yourself: “What started or worsened my symptoms?” (incl. trauma triggers with PTSD)
  • behavioral changes (time management, bedtime routine, environmental changes, rewards, etc.)
  • cognitive work (awareness of thinking errors, cognitive restructuring, coherent and constructive narrative of one’s life story)
  • improved communication skills (active listening, paraphrasing, being mindful of non-verbal communication and tone, assertiveness and boundary skills, etc.)

How Do I Choose My Therapist?

Look for someone who is credentialed to provide psychotherapy (and ask them about their clinical expertise):

  • Psychiatrist, M.D. (doctor of medicine who specializes in psychiatry)
    • Can they prescribe medications? – yes
    • Can they administer and interpret psychological testing? – a psychiatrist will refer you to a psychologist for psychological testing and to a neuropsychologist for neuropsychological testing because they are the ones who are expertly trained in these areas
    • Can they teach at college level? – a psychiatrist is more likely to teach students in medical school or psychiatry students doing their psychiatric residency than to teach students in a psychology program; a psychiatrist can also be a guest lecturer on topics such as anatomy or physiology in other health science graduate programs.
  • Licensed Psychologist – Ph.D. or Psy.D. (they are NOT medical doctors, but have a doctorate degree in psychology)
    • Can they prescribe medications? typically not, but in certain states, they are allowed to prescribe psychotropic medications with additional training (not in California)
    • Can they administer and interpret psychological testing? – yes
    • Can they teach at college level? – yes, they can teach students who are obtaining a doctorate degree in psychology as well as master’s degree and undergraduate degree students with a psychology major
  • Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist – LMFT (master’s degree)
  • Licensed Professional (Clinical) Counselors LPCC or LPC – (master’s degree)
  • Licensed Clinical Social Workers, LCSW – (master’s degree)
    • Can they prescribe medications – no
    • Can they administer and interpret psychological testing – no
    • Can they teach at college level? – yes, they can teach students who are obtaining a master’s degree in their same field as well as undergraduate degree students with the same major (marriage and family therapy, social work, and counseling respectively)

FYI – a life coach has no formal education in psychology and is not licensed to practice psychotherapy.

Look for some of or all of these 10 traits when screening different therapists during your initial phone call or your first/intake session:

What Are The Different Formats Of Therapy?

There are four different formats of psychotherapy (individual, group, couples, and family) and each format has several different approaches (aka orientations, theories, or schools of thought) to therapy – with each format, I am adding a list of five different approaches to therapy, but the number of approaches listed below is not exhaustive. Keep in mind that the same therapy approach can be used in some or all of the different formats.

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meridians and koshas

What Are Meridians and Koshas?

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

If you cut your finger with a knife while preparing dinner, we say you have a wound. If the love of your life leaves you for somebody else, we also say you’ve been wounded even if, physically, you are seemingly left unaffected.

Why is that?

Well, when it comes to human life experiences, including feelings of pain, we clearly all have a fundamental understanding of their effect on our human body. But, it seems that we also have a sense that there is something more, something beyond our anatomy.

Similarly, we know that if we are deeply grieving the loss of the love of our life, our physical body may start showing symptoms of illness and conditions, such as joint pain, headaches, digestive issues, etc.

Even though we can easily acknowledge the basic concept that wounds can be experienced not only at a physical level, but also at an energetic level, it can be difficult to gain a deeper understanding of the idea that we are “whole” beings with a mind-body-soul connection.

Thankfully, there are guides available to help us gain knowledge and insight. One of the most popular teachings is the spiritual concept of the 7 major chakras. If you are unfamiliar with the chakra system, I go more in-depth in this blog post here.

The chakra theory is not the only one that explains the different energy channels or the mind-body-soul connection; there is also the theory of meridians and koshas. Let’s take a closer look!

What Are Meridians?

The concept of meridians comes from Chinese Medicine.

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yin yoga and therapy

How Yin Yoga and Therapy Work Similarly

by Sara Cloostermans on category , , ,

When I started practicing yin yoga, I realized I had never come across an approach to healing that is so aligned with the approach I use when conducting therapy. The main similarity is the 3 principles of yin yoga, which is also my yield to yin approach to therapy.

Three Principles of Yin Yoga by Sarah Powers

  1. Find your edge and lean into the sensations that come up (4 or 5 out of 10 on an intensity scale – discomfort, not pain**)
  2. Resolve to remain still (in the present moment, no distractions) – practice the art of stillness while taking slow, deep, meditative breaths
  3. Hold the pose and spend time in this space (typically between 3 and 5 minutes – up to 20 minutes) to yield to the sensations, feelings, and thoughts

BOTTOM-UP APPROACH TO HEALING:

healing from the primal base of the brain (brainstem, limbic system) 
= bodily sensations + feelings

No pain (discomfort**), no gain

Jane Fonda

Three Yield to Yin Principles of the Therapeutic Process by Sara Cloostermans

  1. Find your edge and lean into the thoughts (perceptions) and feelings (subjective experiences) that come up – (4 or 5 out of 10 on an intensity scale – uncomfortable, not retraumatizing**) 
  2. Share the discomfort** with your therapist, then sit with it together (in the present moment, no distractions) while both taking slow, deep, and meditative breaths
  3. Spend time in this safe holding space (up to 20 minutes) to yield to the thoughts (perceptions become observations), feelings (subjective experiences become objective experiences), and sensations (seemingly intolerable or uncomfortable sensations become tolerable or comfortable)

TOP-DOWN APPROACH TO HEALING:

healing from the cognitive frontal lobes of the brain first 
= thoughts + emotional regulation

“No feeling, no healing”

Sara Cloostermans

**Understanding Discomfort vs. Pain

Both physical pain AND emotional trauma are stored in our bodies and minds. If not taken care of in a gentle and loving way, they add to the development of stagnation of energy, which creates energetic blockages. It is these blockages that lead to discomfort and pain. Pain can feel so intense that it seems unmanageable and intolerable.

Working through discomfort / being uncomfortable are “growing pains.” These pains help us process and integrate our experiences, so we can let be, let go, heal, move forward, and expand.

Struggling through actual pain (6 to 10 out of 10 on an intensity scale), however, is highly discouraged since it does the opposite: it leads to chronic pain / complex trauma = “issues in the tissues.”

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What Are Chakras? Balancing Them For Well-Being

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

When my youngest child was one and her older brother was seven years old, back in 2005, my husband accepted a new job with a startup company, the second one in a row. If you know a little bit about the startup world, it goes without saying that he would be working crazy hours.

While your partner is gone 12-hour days or traveling 12 days every month, you are the one who has to make up the work that they are no longer able to do due to their absence; unless you have a full-time live-in nanny, I call them “the third parent,” which we did not have (I used to be one though, a full-time live-in nanny in Boston, MA, for one year in 1990, but that is a blog topic for another day). 

If your partner is working a busy schedule, you know firsthand that, by default, you now are too. All military family members reading this blog are going: “Oh yes, do I know!” 😆 (The military world is just one example, of course.) At some point in our nutty lives, we probably have all gone through periods in which our work life was so out of control that work-life “balance” or “integration” or “wholeness” was pretty much non-existent.

Anyways, I’m not complaining, just stating the obvious. It was a decision my husband and I made together at that time with the knowledge and life experience we had back then.

At the same time my husband began his new job, I stepped back into the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom for 3 years (going through an adoption process, then adopting, and then staying home with my new baby her first year). 

I accepted a position as a part-time associate therapist for a non-profit child abuse prevention and treatment agency. With me working outside of the home 3 days a week and trying to be a hands-on parent every “free” moment the rest of the time, life very quickly became overwhelming.

I knew that most of my stress did not just come from having a hard-working traveling husband who was gone a lot, but also (and mostly) from my new job. I was serving at-risk children. Some of them had been severely abused (mental, physical, and/or sexual). 

Meanwhile, I had two little ones at home. They both did not enter my life easily and effortlessly. My first child came after two failed pregnancies and my second child was adopted. Clearly, they were very much wanted and showered with love. So, as you can imagine, my new job was a lot to take in at such a vulnerable time in my own life as a young parent.

Typically, by the time I met the children and started doing play therapy with them, they were safe. But sometimes, they were still exposed to their abusive family members or other members in the household. Driving away from these kids’ homes after a session with them was brutal. Of course, I would file CPS reports, but if after an investigation, the report conclusion was “unsubstantiated,” there was nothing I could do.

When I shared my overwhelm with a friend of mine, Sally, she introduced me to the “Psychic Development Series” by Tosha Silver, which I ended up purchasing (they were still a CD set at the time!). The four-part series included chakra work: “Chakras: The Power Within.”

Here is a link to Tosha’s Psychic Development Series in case you want to buy her product.

The power and effect of doing chakra work took shape right from the beginning, so naturally, I continued using it. I started not only incorporating it in my personal life, but also in my professional life, depending on the client, and have been doing so ever since.

What Are The Seven Chakras?

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yoga rebounds

The Benefits of Using Rebounds In Everyday Life

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

When you’re in a yoga class, your teacher designs a whole sequence of poses, transitions, and rebounds. Poses are more obvious: Warrior 1, 2, or 3. Chaturanga. Frog pose. But I want to focus on transitions and rebounds … and how they aren’t just for the mat, but for everyday life.

Transition Poses in Yoga

This is the pose we do to move from one yoga pose into the next. A transition pose involves movement and basically prepares us for the next pose. 

Two examples of transition yoga poses are:

  1. From standing to sitting: mountain pose, transition into squat pose, drop down on your bottom, and finally sit in square pose or easy pose
  1. From downward dog to corpse pose: downward dog, transition into plank, transition into belly pose face down (prone pose), and finally flip your body to transition into corpse pose

Rebound Poses in Yoga

This is the release of the poses we just did prior to the rebound. It is a pose that offers a period of rest and elicits a relaxation response. 

Three examples of rebound yoga poses are:

  1. Savasana/corpse pose, which is the most traditional rebound pose
  1. Child’s pose (after table pose or all fours pose, for example)
  1. Staff pose (after caterpillar pose, for example)

Using Transitions and Rebounds In Everyday Life

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yin yoga benefits

Yin Yoga: The Basics & The Benefits

by Sara Cloostermans on category , ,

I had been practicing yang-style yoga for a decade and a half when I was first introduced to the benefits of yin yoga in 2015. It was a yin yoga class at Riffs Yoga Studios in Bird Rock, La Jolla, on their beautiful outdoor patio deck.

I was immediately drawn to this style of yoga because I had just recovered from a year-long neck injury. I instinctively knew a slower, more gentle yoga approach would be more appropriate for me. A “safe” practice was what I was all about after living with chronic pain for an entire year in 2014. 

Up until the start of the pandemic, I had only been practicing yoga once or twice a week in different local yoga studios. But ever since the start of the pandemic, in the beginning of 2020, this changed. 

Like most other yogis, I began practicing at home. I experienced the ease and immediacy of in-home practices and discovered a handful of incredibly inspiring and talented online yoga teachers both through YouTube and Gaia. (As if this convenience had not been available prior to the pandemic 😂). Before I knew it, I was practicing daily, up to an hour a day if time allowed.

Yin Yoga Changed My Life

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breathe through discomfort

How To Breathe Through Discomfort or Pain

by Sara Cloostermans on category , , ,

When I work with clients as they are describing an uncomfortable or painful feeling, I ask them “where in your body are you feeling this?”  They often respond with, “What do you mean?”, “I have never thought about this, so I’m not sure,” or “I don’t think I feel anything.”

Ironically, feelings are called “feelings” because we FEEL them. If someone tells me they don’t feel anything, I inquire about their physical health and check if I can make a connection that way. If they tell me that they have no physical complaints, I ask them if they spend a lot of time in their head, and if so, we just focus on that. 

In this case, I also make sure to explain dissociation. I double check and ask again about potential physical complaints, but more specifically this time: “Do you ever suffer from headaches or migraines?”

My goal is not to be right, but to have my clients start making links between their bodies, minds, and souls, basically to approach their life holistically, so that they will be able to do the same for themselves outside of our therapy space.

Holding Our Emotions

When clients tell me that they feel as if they are “suffocating,” it is almost predictable that they hold their feelings in their throat and neck area. This makes sense, right?

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Spark in stillness
Soul in silence
✕