*If you need help, or you are in an emergency or crisis, visit “Support Resources“.*
The A-N-S-W-E-R to “How to deal with painful feelings?”
**by Sara Cloostermans
- A – Allow the painful feeling (it’s OK; you will survive it)
- N – Name the feeling (label it; then ask yourself where in your body it is located)
- S – Spend time in stillness to sit with the feeling (let your body experience it; ease into it until it creates discomfort, but pull back if it creates pain)
- W – Wallow in the feeling (give yourself permission to be self-compassionate)
- E – End the wallowing in the feeling (give yourself 2 to 20 minutes, then distract yourself with a pleasure activity; what usually makes you feel a little better?)
- R – Release the feeling (let it go for now; it may come back, and that’s OK too)
SERENITY PRAYER: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Coping Statements
The following statements can be useful to think or say when you are struggling with something. If any of them resonate with you, write them down on paper or in your phone.
**EXCERPT FROM: BOURNE, E.J., (2005). THE ANXIETY & PHOBIA WORKBOOK, P. 122.
- This feeling isn’t comfortable or pleasant, but I can accept it.
- I can be anxious and still deal with this situation.
- I can handle these symptoms or sensations.
- This isn’t an emergency. It’s okay to think slowly about what I need to do.
- This isn’t the worst thing that could happen.
- I’m going to go with this and wait for my anxiety to decrease.
- This is an opportunity for me to learn to cope with my fears.
- I’ll just let my body do its thing. This will pass.
- I’ll ride this through – I don’t need to let this get to me.
- I deserve to feel okay right now.
- I can take all the time I need in order to let go and relax.
- There’s no need to push myself. I can take as small a step forward as I choose.
- I’ve survived this before and I’ll survive this time, too.
- I can do my coping strategies and allow this to pass.
- This anxiety won’t hurt me – even if it doesn’t feel good.
- This is just anxiety – I’m not going to let it get to me.
- Nothing serious is going to happen to me.
- Fighting and resisting this isn’t going to help – so I’ll just let it pass.
- These are just thoughts – not reality.
- I don’t need these thoughts – I can choose to think differently.
- This isn’t dangerous.
- So what.
- Don’t worry – be happy (with humor)
My coping statement is “Bring it on!” from the teen cheerleading comedy movie with Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union
